Strange Brouhaha

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Is this serious?

In 1994, you may recall, figure skater Tonya Harding and her ex-husband conspired to commit assault against Nancy Kerrigan. (Nancy Kerrigan, you may also recall, went on to win the silver medal in the Olympics, based largely on sympathy and the fact that [I swear] she flashed her pubes on international television.)

Anyway, apparently the actual perpetrator of the knee-whacking, Shane Stant, is asking for his criminal record to be expunged because--with apologies to Dave Barry, I swear I am not making this up--he wants to be a Navy SEAL.

I realize that his lawyer is required to make every effort possible on his behalf. But does anybody at all even take this seriously? According the Wikipedia article on Shane Stant, you need to be 28 to be in the SEALs anyway, but...he works in "marketing." Never been in the military. As I recall, he was built kind of like me. I mean, come on, I think it would be neat to be a SEAL, too, but as Neal Stephenson wrote it Snow Crash, there comes a time in every man's life when he realizes that he's not going to become a Shaolin monk.


  • (MattK) OK, I've spent almost 30 minutes looking for supposed Kerrigan pubes photos. Nothing authentic to report. Internet -- you've let me down.

    Either that, or Robert was on crack when he watched the Olympics (or I need a better method of searching).

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:06 PM  

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