Strange Brouhaha

Monday, September 27, 2004

Yes. We went to the mall again.

I had to get new tires for the car this weekend, and the Firestone happens to be at the mall--well, in the mall parking lot--and so I figured that Lani and I could go to the mall while we waited. So we did.

Blessedly, the mall stores were mostly closed at 9:00-ish in the morning. The only people there were people doing their morning walks. That's something I don't get: why would you go to the mall to get exercise? The floor isn't any better or worse than a path at a park--it's tiled, not carpeted, so it can't be a comfort issue. A park has fresh air. The day was beautiful, so it's not like they had a weather excuse. There's no medical care in the mall if you drop dead of a heart attack, so it can't be that. Maybe people just like walking in a climate-controlled ghost town full of advertising. To each his own.

The only things open were the anchor stores, so we hit Sears and--this will be a shock--Lani looked at clothes and shoes. "Let's go look at tools," I said, gazing longingly in the direction of the hardware section.

"Daddy," said Lani gravely. "There are shoes here."

We also looked at sewing machines. I have this bizarre, unfounded belief that I could learn to sew; I have no clue why. It's not like we have a place to do it, or the wherewithal to buy the raw materials.

And we looked at refrigerators, mostly because the refrigerators were between the shoes and the sewing machines and because I couldn't believe the price tags on the refrigerators. I mean, for three grand, the damn thing better walk itself over to the table and set out a bowl of cereal and milk for everyone for breakfast, and wash up afterward. (So far, that feature has been absent from refrigerators, but Its Day Will Come.)

It was a welcome change of pace from the last time we went to the mall, because we didn't have a purpose other than to chew up two hours. After the mall opened, Lani tried on some clothes at Limited Too. (Yes, it was a shock to me too.) We dithered.

Then we ran to the Firestone because we had used up more than our allotted two hours. It was all in all a much calmer time, and I really only wanted to yell "Pull up yer pants!" about twice the whole time.

(And no...I don't want to try your damn moisturizer, pal. Do I LOOK like I want to try your damn moisturizer?)


  • Welll... with all that frowning from being in the mall, yes, you do look like you could at least use a moisturizer, even if you don't actually want it.

    By Blogger david adam edelstein, at 1:41 AM  

  • roflmao :D

    By Blogger Robert, at 9:14 AM  

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