Strange Brouhaha

Saturday, March 26, 2005

More Helpful Parenting Advice

The entire family was at the Y this morning and we had to listen to this woman in the locker room attempting to embarass her daughter out of diapers. We both agreed that we pretty much wanted to smack the lady. She was saying things like "You'll be the last girl in preschool not wearing big-girl underwear," and "Everyone will say, Shmoozilla is still wearing diapers! That's so silly!" and things like that. (No, her name wasn't actually Shmoozilla.)

To put it politely, this is Not The Way To Do It.

Here is the Jahrling method of toilet training. It works, based on empirical evidence on a sample size of one. You just need to remember two things: It Is Not A Big Deal and It Is Not About You. Ready? Here goes:

It Is Not A Big Deal.

It Is Not About You.

That's it! Oh, you want more depth? Okay. Introduce your child to the toilet. Don't make it a big deal. "This is where Mommy and Daddy use the toilet. We pee and poop here. We do it every day. It is neither mysterious nor complicated. If you are ready, you can use it too. If you are not, then we can wait."

And if they are not, they are not. And you can wait. It Is Not A Big Deal.

Do you find diaper-changing a pain? Me too. Guess what? It Is Not About You.

If you let them decide when they are ready, with some gentle reminding every few days (along the lines of "Would you like to try?" and remember to drop it if they say no), you'll have the job done. Do not nag. Do not pressure. Do not tell them they're "silly" for wearing diapers, do not try to embarass them.

It Is Not A Big Deal.

It Is Not About You.


  • You forgot the part about how the mom made a big deal about how stinky the diaper was in her ongoing effort to shame the poor child by any means possible. It was really abysmal.

    By Blogger Savannah, at 7:29 PM  

  • (Josh) I'll have to try and remember that.

    But why was Rob hanging out in the women's locker room?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:22 PM  

  • I wish! :)

    We were in the Family Locker Room. I imagine it's there mostly so moms can take their sons swimming, or dads their daughters, and not have to worry about who goes into what locker room. There are separate lockable changing rooms that are just big enough.

    By Blogger Robert, at 6:26 PM  

  • (Matt) We have recently (withing the past 6 weeks) introduced the toilet to Jake. He now, about once a day, wants to sit on the toilet, and point his wee-wee down. Never actually does anything, but it's a start. My wife is big on the 'no pressure' point of training.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:02 AM  

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