Strange Brouhaha

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

We Suck

Compared to our peers in the industrialized world, our overall poverty rates are higher, our child poverty rates are higher, our child mortality rates are higher, our infant mortality rates are higher, and our life expectancy rates are lower. In short: more of us are poor, even more of our children are poor, more of our babies die, more of our children die, and the ones that live--don't live that long anyhow.

Something's been happening to paradise while we weren't looking, people. If we've got more people doing worse, then how exactly are we the best? Hint: we're not.

It's only ignorance and ingrained prejudice that keeps us from realizing that our castle has grown shabby. Oh, and the Fox News people yammering their hysterical propaganda all the time.

You know what this is? It's Russia's Revenge. Pretty soon we're going to be lying in the gutter with Russia, and the glorious yet epically dysfunctional and tragic beauty, who never recovered from the Mongol Invasion, will leer at us and say "Ha ha! Now you're down here too! And you did it to YOURSELVES!!"

And she will be right.


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