Gee, I wonder why?

I read the sad news today that Dick Cheney won't seek the Presidential nomination. All together now, "Awwww."

Actually, it really is bad news, because Cheney would have been completely and utterly beatable, and if he ran and won in 2008, I would think that the mere fact of it would be enough evidence of election fraud. The Democrats could put up a monkey, or Dennis Kucinich, and beat Cheney.

So, here are three reasons why Cheney isn't going to run.

1. As I mentioned, he's beatable. Everyone knows it. He's been a complete non-presence during the last four years. He's got nothing. Satan will only allow Cheney's heart to continue to function properly for so long.


2. Possibly, they're opening the door for Little George's brother Jeb to be appointed President.


3. Halliburton made a pile of money off of the war. Think Cheney's gonna get some love? I do.