Strange Brouhaha

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


Long-time readers will remember my three part series about my back trauma in April 2005.

This morning, I went to pick up a car from the shop. I was brushing snow off the car, not bothering to look where I was going when my feet went out from under me and my ass hit the ground.


I was screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs. Fortunately, The Family was there, waiting for me to make sure that the car was okay. They rushed over. One of the mechanics came running out--"We called an ambulance, just stay there!" On the classic ten-scale of pain that they always ask about, I was redlining that ten. It's probably a good thing that I was on the ice; I bet it helped my back.

They brought out something for me to put my head on and assured me that the ambulance was on its way. The He-Man muttered "I don't need a damn ambulance" but I told him to shut the hell up because after all, I was flat on my back and not exactly rushing to stand. When you cannot move, that is a sign that There Is A Problem.

The ambulance arrived shortly, and the two EMTs, Mark and Ryan, helped me sit up. Sitting up hurt a lot. Once sitting, though, I was able to brace myself on the gurney they rolled over. Once bracing, I was able to stand. "Great," says the He-Man. "Let's go to work. Tell the ambulance guys goodbye."

Yeah, I'm stupid. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed. I was able to mollify the He-Man by walking to the ambulance under my own power. Very. Slowly. Once there, I lay down on the gurney because brother, there was NO WAY I was going to sit for the whole trip. The Youngster rode up front with Ryan, and it sounded like they were having a nice conversation. (Herself, by the way, was really upset by the whole situation but conducted herself admirably and commendably. I was very proud.)

This was my first-ever ride in an ambulance. It was pleasant enough.

Once at the hospital, I asked if I could get up and walk in. The guys didn't think that was a good idea, and I suppose it's a testament to the amount of pain I was in that I just said "Okay." Really, that's not so much a He-Man thing as it is a "I'm really fat and I want to spare people the trouble of having to move me" thing.

Two nurses, three doctors, a hit of (blessed) Percocet, x-rays and a CT scan later, we get told that I have a compression fracture in my back. Not the biggest deal in the world, fortunately. No lifting, twisting or bending for me for a while. The Percocet is helping this time.

Everyone involved was really nice, from the people at the shop, to the ambulance crew, to the doctors and nurses and radiologists and everyone. I'm also really glad that The Family was there, even though I know it was an inconvenience. It was good to have them around.

An exciting day, certainly. I hope I can get back to work soon.


  • Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

    I first read that paragraph about screaming obscenities as if you were glad your family was there to hear you scream obscenities. :-)

    Glad you're ok, but, man, that sucks.


    By Blogger Terry, at 11:00 PM  

  • What a drag it is to be old. Every time I get something gritty in food that I'm eating, I have to confirm whether I've broken a(nother) tooth.

    By Anonymous Josh, at 4:30 PM  

  • ow ow ow ow ow

    By Anonymous david adam edelstein, at 12:01 AM  

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