Feast Or Famine

When I was sick, I had to BEG to see a doctor.

Now that I'm not sick, I can't get rid of him!

I wish I could sit down with my doctor and say, "Look. I appreciate it, okay. You're doing your job, and I'm totally down with that. But GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME. When I need you, I'll call you. Until then, get OUT."

Now it's not just the exercise (yes, I'm getting it, shut up--I have better things to do with the hour it takes me to walk home, but whatever). It's the "go get your blood pressure taken three times before you come in for your follow-up" and the "go get your cholesterol checked again." And the "go to the dentist."

Dude. Buzz off. Seriously. My cholesterol was 203, and I had just eaten a plate of friggin' bacon and eggs. My blood pressure is fine. It's at the same level it's been for the last decade, okay?

I'm not saying that I know more than a medical professional about medicine. Shit, he probably knows more than I do about MY job, since he's a Medical Informatics professor or something like that. All's I'm saying is, I don't WANT the friggin' attention. All I want is to have someone to go to who will give me penicillin when I get strep throat. Is that too much to ask?