Actual Conversation From Work Today

I'm standing in the kitchen, cutting my lunch (leftover roast beef) into bite-sized pieces prior to microwaving it. Someone comes in and says, "Ooh, is that corned beef?"

Huh? "Uh, no." I go on cutting.

A second person comes in. "Hey, corned beef, alright!"

I am thoroughly puzzled for another few seconds. Then I remember today's Google logo. "Oh," I say, the light bulb going on, "it's Saint Patrick's Day!"

The first lady says, "Come on, you must have known. You're wearing a green shirt!"

I look down. Sure enough. And suddenly it hits me that there are an awful lot of people in the office today wearing green. "No," I say, "it's just the top shirt from my pile of clean shirts."

I mean, come on...do I LOOK Irish? (Answer: no.)