Short stack

• I get to do The Blitz again. I encourage people who live in Madison to come to either one of the shows; there's potential for some really good theater in the Blitz. I just hope that I can write something halfway decent this year.


• I want to be able to give props to my sort-of-homie, Michelle Wie, but I can't do that until she manages to learn how to putt. Happy Gilmore notwithstanding, you can have all the distance and power in the world, but you still need to get the ball into the hole. It's a lesson that Tiger Woods had to learn, if I remember correctly, back when he was the overhyped phenom. Michelle's poor, deluded father needs to realize that she won't "prove that she can play with men" until she starts making some damn putts.


• Cool video: takeoffs and landings at the Princess Juliana airport in St. Maartens. The airport is right across the street from this little strip of beach, and planes a just a few dozen feet off the ground. It's a great planespotting place, from what I hear.


• How does Fox "News" get away with begging white people to make more babies to defend against Those People? It almost makes me want to have about three more kids just to tell John Gibson that he can go fuck himself.


• Speaking of Fox "News", I saw a tag on there that said "Awaiting Bush Speech on Gay Marriage" or something like that. As I told my friend Sir F. Crisp, unless The Decider is going get up there and say, "You know what? I'm an asshole, and anybody who wants to waste this nation's time on this bullshit is an asshole too. We have more important things to take care of, so you jackasses quit fucking around and solve some actual problems," I'm not really awaiting anything he has to say.


• Has there ever been a stupider President?