Strange Brouhaha

Saturday, April 16, 2005

A Proposal For The Government

I have a proposal for the Federal Government.

No, really, hear me out.

For ten million dollars--a drop in the bucket, really, compared with the budget for DHS--I will improve national security exactly as much as airport screeners have. It's a real bargain for the government, and a win all around.

(Attention, government: the ten million dollar figure is negotiable. I could probably do it for five million dollars, if you want me to cut some corners.)


  • I think the real question here is, how much of it are you willing to give back to Little George and the Hammer? Because *then* they might consider your proposal. Although, in order to make it worth their while, you will have to get over this wussy liberal "ten million" shit. Little George and the Hammer will not get up in the morning for less then one billion taxpayer dollars in kickbacks. You are going to have to learn from Halliburton here, and promise to defraud the taxpayers for *real* money, so that the percentage of it which you then give back to your Republican masters will be enough to make it worth their while to give you the no-bid airport security contract in the first place.

    By Blogger Savannah, at 9:49 AM  

  • I don't want an airport security contract. I was thinking more of an open-ended, barely-defined "improve national security" portfolio.

    But yeah, I had forgotten about the bribery aspect.

    By Blogger Robert, at 11:00 AM  

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