Strange Brouhaha

Monday, November 12, 2007

What did you just call poor Monday?

Here's Monday's a Bitch:

1. If you could swim in a pool filled with any substance, what would you choose? I recognize and honor the creativity behind this question, but I would choose chlorinated water. Unless I could keep the contents of the pool after swimming in it, in which case I would go the Scrooge McDuck route.

2. Describe your left hand in detail. Okay, but I'm not measuring my fingers because that would mean getting up to grab a ruler. My left hand doesn't seem large to me, but it must be, because I have trouble finding gloves that fit. It has five thick but otherwise unassuming fingers crowned by unevenly trimmed nails. The back of my hand is hairy, except for my knuckles; with the exception of three lonely strands, I am devoid of mid-digital hair. I have a mole at the base of my ring finger, and another on the right side of my middle finger. My fingertips are callused from playing the guitar.

3. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Sushi, I guess; with all of the varieties, I would have at least a shot at being nutritionally balanced. If that's cheating, and it probably is, then I'd pick a nice New York strip.

4. Write us a haiku. What do you get when/You dereference a null/pointer? Program crash.

5. If you had some sort of deformity that was causing the general public to worship you as a God (not necessarily this one, but this story obviously inspired the question), would you want to undergo corrective surgery, or continue living as you were? (The article is about the girl in India with the conjoined twin growing out of her, giving her a couple of extra pairs of limbs.) You know, that seems like a really good question. It would depend on a bunch of factors, including "How exactly are they worshiping me" and "What kind of deformity is it" and "Have I been deformed all my life or is this a recent thing". I realize that's a non-answer, and I apologize.


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