Here's what I want

Okay, so here's what I want. Call me when they make this.

I want something no bigger than an iPhone. It has to make and receive phone calls. It has to be able to play music and video (although video is not so important). It should have a camera.

It needs to run Windows. It needs to run Office, or at least a version of Office that's compatible with my home and work machines. (If Windows Mobile does this, then that's fine.)

I need to be able to write on it like a Tablet PC or UMPC.

It should be instant-on, like a cell phone. It also needs to be able to last an entire day for whatever I want to do--I'm willing to be required to plug it in for a recharge every night, but if I need to use it for six, seven, eight hours at a stretch, it had better accommodate me.

It should have WiFi. And a microSD slot. It should recharge (and connect to my computer) via a miniUSB port. And it should have a standard headphone jack.

What I want, basically, is the equivalent of a TabletPC, portable media player, and cell phone all rolled up into one package no bigger than an iPhone. (Okay, the iPhone is pretty thin--a little bit thicker would be fine.)

And I want it to be no more than a thousand bucks--much, much, much less if it's going to be tied to a cell phone contract.

I know, this is a lot to ask. But surely someone out there can make it happen. The Sony Ericsson XPERIA X1 is going to come close. The iPhone comes close. UMPCs come close. I WANT MY CONVERGENCE, DAMN IT.