Kicking ass and taking names

If you have not read (or heard) the butt-whipping that Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson laid down on the Little Emperor, then you owe it to yourself to go read it now. "Blind faith in bad leaders," he says even as the Emperor is visiting his city, "is not patriotism."

Wednesday Mind Hump

Here's today's Wednesday Mind Hump from Blogdrive.

Star Wars or Star Trek?
Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter?
Internet Explorer or Firefox?
iPod shuffle or iPod Nano?
Camera phone or mp3 phone?
Dilbert or Jon from "Garfield"?

And of course, the big question

Mac or PC?

1. I like Star Wars, but for me Star Trek is the only choice. Always has been, always will be. I'll have to be tedious here and point out that by Star Trek I do mean Star Trek. I don't mean The Adventures of Captain Baldy And The Chin.

2. Harry Potter. Rowling isn't nearly the writer Tolkien was, but her books have the advantage of being mostly engaging. If the choice was between The Hobbit and Harry Potter, I'd pick Bilbo, but I think LOTR is just plain tedious.

3. Firefox. The only time I use IE is when I have to use an IE-only website. Two examples are the Esker corporate intranet (which I never actually used because it required IE) and my current employer's HR website, which has a few sections that don't respond correctly in Firefox.

4. The Nano. It has an actual interface.

5. Neither. I'll tell you what I want in a cell phone: it has to make and receive calls, have bluetooth, and allow me to load up my own damn ringtones and graphics. I don't give a damn about whether it has a shitty camera or a shitty mp3 player or a shitty organizer or shitty games.

6. Depends on what you want. Dilbert, I guess. Does the annoying dog come along? If so, I think I'd take Jon instead.

7. Depends on what I'm going to do with it. If I intend to use it for serious work, Mac. My reasoning is this: sooner or later, I'll be tempted to buy games. I'm able to discipline myself to not even look at Mac games. I've had this iBook for three years now, and it remains a work-only computer. Not so with my PC; whenever I sit down at my PC intending to Do Stuff, I always end up playing a game instead. That's not an option on my Mac. (Please note: I'm not saying that there are no Mac games; that's a myth. I'm just saying that I have a clarity regarding games on the Mac that I do not have with PCs.)

I'm not the one who's confused

Well, maybe I am.

See, Donald Rumsfeld has said that people who are opposed to the Little Emperor's "Hey, Dad, My Dick Is Bigger Than Yours!" adventure in Iraq suffer from "moral and intellectual confusion." Among other things, he's invoking Chamberlain. Now, I don't disagree with the notion that terrorists need to be confronted, but what does that have to do with the Iraq war? I have to admit that I've lost track of whatever the Administration's current lie is about why we're over there in the first place, but it seems to me that summoning "morality" is exactly what "the terr'ists" do.

As far as I'm concerned, the only nation being appeased right now is Saudi Arabia, home of most of the 9/11 hijackers.

Prose and poetry

I had the misfortune to read a thread on an Internet forum recently about "the difference between prose and poetry". There was a problem, you see, with people submitting prose under the poetry category and vice versa. The forum moderator said, basically, "here is the difference between prose and poetry" (that would be the "logical and CLEAR difference") and posted two samples.

The prose was a piece by William S. Burroughs--the beginning of "Feedback from Watergate to the Garden of Eden"--which sounded a heck of a lot like modern poetry (although it's not). The poem was a bit of ABAB from Shakespeare.

Chaos ensues; "poetry HAS TO RHYME" and "prose is anything not presented with linebreaks" and "prose is not poetry and poetry is not prose" and my personal, depressing favorite "I write a lot and I've never heard of prose."

I'm sure that they had a real problem with people submitting things in the wrong category, but...come on. Don't people go to school any more? In my opinion, which isn't worth much, the lines are so blurred that it's hard to tell anymore, especially with free verse and the prose poem. I think a much more useful definition (more useful, at any rate, than the "no definition at all" that was provided) would have to start with the idea that a poem uses language specifically for its aesthetic qualities, while prose uses language specifically for its communicative qualities.

"Poetry has to rhyme." Sheesh. What part of "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix" rhymes?

And saying that the TYPESETTING makes a poem a poem is just as ridiculous:

It was the best of times,
   It was the worst of times,
It was the age of wisdom,
   It was the age of foolishness,
It was the epoch of belief,
   It was the epoch of incredulity,
It was the season of Light,
   It was the season of Despair,
It was the spring of hope,
   It was the winter of despair,
We had everything before us,
   We had nothing before us,
We were all going direct to Heaven,
   We were all going direct the other way--
In short,
The period was
so far
 like the present period,
that some of its noisiest
    authorities
        insisted on its being
        received,
    for good or for evil,
in the superlative degree of comparison
only.

And yes, I chose those two examples deliberately: The longest run-on sentence in the history of the known universe ("Howl") is still a poem even though it doesn't rhyme, and "A Tale Of Two Cities" is still prose (and boring) even though the opening almost sounds like it could be a poem.

What really frustrated me were all the people who were saying "Well, duh, the difference is obvious," when it clearly isn't, with no attempt at all to make a stab at concrete definitions for either. I know I can't really have high expectations for the Internet, but it was still pretty disappointing.

On the Workbench

I thought I'd share a couple of photos of projects that I'm working on. The first is a piece of terrain for The Battle For Macragge, a Warhammer 40,000 intoductory boxed set. It's a piece of a crashed ship.

The second is a fighter figure from Reaper (it's a guy, but I thought it was a girl). The point of the picture is to show off the rock that the figure is standing on. I think it looks pretty darn good for a piece of wood.

More Saturday Six

I've been enjoying The Saturday Six from Patrick's Weekender. Here's this week's Saturday Six:

1. Pluto has been demoted from planet to "dwarf planet." Are you willing to give up everything you've been taught all these years and begin referring to our solar system as having eight planets, or will you continue thinking about it having nine?

2. Where is the last store you visited? What was your last bill there?

3. What new television show are you most looking forward to seeing this season?

4. Take the quiz: Which greek God are you? Save yourself some time and space by listing the name of the God, the description it gives you and the famous people you're like. (Don't worry about the graphical information and all the rest unless you just want to!)

5. Of the famous people it lists like you, which is the scariest?

6. You decide to bring candy to keep on your desk. If you could only pick one kind of candy, which would it be?

1. I mentioned before that I am contrarian. To me, the Solar System will always have nine planets. However, I do recognize that science is fluid and adapts to new understanding. Like it or not, our children will learn henceforth that My Vicious Eagle May Jog Slowly Until Night.

2. Copp's (a grocery store). I spent nine bucks.

3. I don't know what new shows are coming out. I don't watch much TV anyway.

4. Interesting results.


Dionysus
33% Extroversion, 13% Intuition, 55% Emotiveness, 66% Perceptiveness
Although deeply emotional, you are extremely lacking in self-knowledge. You are somewhat needy, and when bored, may become very hedonistic. Your life is a quest for meaning, above all else. You are most like Dionysus. You are primarily interested in serving others, but your efforts are almost always unappreciated. You aren't confrontational, you're often out of tune with your own needs and unaware of the consequences of your own actions.

You are, at heart, a good person. You are very affectionate, and you are very loyal to your friends and family. You are very reluctant to burden others with your own problems, to the point that this in itself can become a problem for the people who care about you. This is a particular of a more general problem. Dionysus sends wave of ruin throughout his personal life. He is the photographer who seduces his subjects. He is the teacher who seduces a student. He is the art student who paints nonrepresentational splashes of color, he is the poet who rejects meter and content. You seek sexual partners more than anything else (this is to exploit the nurturing side of others to help fill your own void). If not sexual partners, this desire to become the object of sympathy with other people can manifest itself in other destructive ways. Stinkfist by Tool explains your condition pretty well. It's very likely that you haven't had many experienced mentors. You don't want them either, because you're the sort of person who rejects criticism and boundaries, but they're also your only hope for reaching any kind of emotional maturity.

Famous People Like You: John Lennon, Mick Jagger, Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Marilyn Monroe, Hugh Hefner


5. Obviously, the fact that Michael Jackson is on my list is extremely disturbing, but quite frankly they're all disturbing. With the exception of Hef (and he's an exception only because I don't know enough about him), each one of those people is (or was) seriously messed up in one or more ways.

6. I already keep a load of gum on hand. But I suspect that I'm bringing this candy to share with people. It would have to be something that's easily replenishable and purchaseable in huge quantities. I'd probably end up picking peanut M&Ms.

By Ken Levine

Sir F. Crisp pointed me at a particular post at Ken Levine's blog, but I ended up reading the whole thing and now read it regularly. Levine is a television writer/director/producer (you've probably watched most of the shows in his list of credits), and his blog is a mix of anecdotes, writing advice, and travel reports that shouldn't be fascinating but ends up being very engaging.

My only complaint? It's a bit heavy on the reruns...but then again, he's a TV guy. Highly recommended.

Pluto, we hardly knew ye

The International Astronomical Union has declared that Pluto is not a planet. This news comes as a blow to anyone hoping to be Served Nine Pizzas by My Very Eager Mother.

However, Many Very Eager Men Joyfully Studying Universes Nightly were reportedly very pleased.

(For the record, the IAU can bite me and Pluto will remain a planet to me. Kind of the way I always sang "Thy sons arise" when we had to do the alma mater in school. Just contrarian, I guess.)

Acting Meme

From the 8/8 edition of Musing on Movies:

Are there any actors that you so strongly identify with one particular role that you have trouble accepting them in other roles? What actors do you find the most versatile (i.e. it is easy to accept them in a wide variety of rolls)?

Leonard Nimoy as Spock. DeForest Kelley as Bones. Craig Charles as Dave Lister. The dude who plays Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe. James Caan as Jonathan M in "Rollerball"; seriously, every time I see him, a "Jon-a-than! Jon-a-than!" loop starts up in my brain. I assume here of course that when we say role, we really do mean role, as opposed to "playing the same character every time." Someone like, say, Adam Sandler has carved out the "semi-retarded fratboy jackass" niche for himself, and when he's not playing that character, people stay away in droves ("Punch-Drunk Love"). Will Ferrell has specialized in the "I'm yelling really loudly in a whiny voice so I must be funny" school of acting and has played that guy in everything.

I think Paul Giamatti is pretty versatile. I'd accept him on a Kaiser, or maybe a good pumpernickel. Oh wait, you mean role. Okay, I still pick Paul Giamatti. Jack Lemmon. This is actually a really hard question, especially today, because it seems like there aren't a lot of actors who actually take what you'd call a "wide variety" of roles. They're all more or less typecast.

Yesterday's Saturday Six

Well, the Sunday Seven isn't up at Patrick's yet, so I'll do yesterday's Saturday Six instead. Here goes...it will be interesting to see what the Left Brain/Right Brain results are, since I just took that test recently:

1. Would you prefer being a small fish in a large pond or a large fish in a small pond?

2. If you could change one thing about the climate where you live right now, what would it be and why?

3. Do you consider yourself more or less normal than those around you?

4. Take the quiz: Are you right or left brained?

5. Consider the last meal you ate: was the primary course beef, chicken, fish or vegetables? How often is this your primary course?

6. Should men who belong to a religion which permits it be allowed to have more than one wife? In other words, should polygamy be legal on religious grounds?

1. Definitely the small fish.

2. In general, I would wish for less humidity. Other than that, I'm pretty happy with it, although I'd take the temperatures from about ten years ago over the ones today.

3. Cop-out: About the same.

4. Interesting. The last time I took this quiz--a few days ago--it was 55/45. Now it's...

You Are 70% Left Brained, 30% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

5. Chicken. Fairly often. I like a good steak, though.

6. Religious grounds shouldn't be the sole--or even primary--reason for legality or illegality. So the answer to the question is "no," but that's not really the answer to the question that's being asked. The real answer is "I see no reason for polygamy between consenting adults to be illegal." (Interesting aside: if polygamy is really a major tenet of the religion, wouldn't that receive protection under the First Amendment? Probably not; otherwise, we'd have the Leviticus Fundamentalists wanting to own slaves and berate people for eating shellfish.)

What the hell is that?

I was working down in the basement the other day when this...thing...crawled across my workbench. It was a bug about the size of the quarter, and it looked like a cross between a round armadillo and a horseshoe crab. I stabbed it through center-mass with my X-acto knife and tossed it in the garbage before I thought to get a picture of it.

I had a flip through What's That Bug? to identify it, but I don't even know where to begin. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a beetle, because it didn't crunch when I stabbed it, but beyond that...I dunno. I guess it's an Isopod of some sort; it did sort of look like a pill bug, one of which I had crawling across the workbench a week or so ago, but its first reaction to my stabbing attempt (yeah, I missed a couple of times) was to run, not ball up.

Saturday Six

Yeah, I know, it's not Saturday. This is the Saturday Six for August 5th fromPatrick's Weekender. None of the Wednesday things from the Memes List really grabbed me.

1. How many different time zones have you lived in? Which one would you most like to live in?

2. What is the current setting of your home's thermostat? Do you adjust it up or down based on the time of day, or leave it at one setting at all times?

3. Go to your bedroom closet (or the closet in which you keep the majority of your clothes. Take a quick glance: what color do you see the most of? Is this color your favorite color? If not, why do you have more of it than your favorite color?

4. Take the quiz: What kind of house are you?

5. Imagine your dream house: how many stories would your ultimate home have?

6. Ripped from the Headlines: An underage teenager decides he does not want to undergo a particularly rough regimen of chemotherapy to treat his cancer. With his parents' blessing, he decides to pursue an alternate treatment to be supervised by a clinic that is outside of the country. Should a court intervene and force the teen to undergo the "traditional" treatment? How much does the prognosis for successful treatment with the chemotherapy affect your judgment?

1. Three: Eastern, Central, Hawaii. If we're talking in a hypothetical, money-is-no-object, you-are-alone-in-the-world way, I guess I'd like to live in the Western European Time Zone (specifically, the UK) or the Ireland Time Zone. Except that that part of the world isn't really built for people like me. Then again, money is no object. If money is an object and I have a family to consider, then the time zone we're in is great.

2. The thermostat is at 75 now. It's set to that all day, although I usually turn the whole thing off at night during the summer (unless it's extremely hot). It is set at one setting all the time. (I think we keep it at 69 in the winter.)

3. Blue, and yes.

4. Uh, okay. I'm not sure this is entirely accurate. Take the quiz:
What Kind of House Are You?

McMansion
Self involved much? For all the self aggrandizing you do, you'll never change the person you actually are. So climb down from your pedestal and pay attention to other people for a change.

5. Two, plus a basement. This question is meaningless; let's talk square footage!

6. My knee-jerk reaction to this question is, "Hell, no, it's none of the court's damn business." However, I'm put in mind of, say, someone who's convinced that a laying on of hands is going to cure epilepsy. Or that laetrile is going to cure cancer. These things are clearly stupid, or, even worse, they're cons. Still, I don't think that it's the government's job to protect idiots from themselves. Presumably, the parents want what's best for their kid, and it's always, always within their rights to say "Look, Timmy, this crap isn't working. Get the chemo." I suppose my judgement would be affected by knowing the prognosis for the chemo.

The Memes List

Like most people, I (gasp!) occasionally run out of ideas. Now that I've found it, I'll be turning to The Memes List a little bit more often. It's great to have a huge honking stack of memes to choose from.

"As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!"

Sleepy Music meme

Speaking of The Meme List, here's one from The Music Memoirs. It's "Take Me Back Tuesday" from the week of August 8th.

What music is most likely to put you to sleep?

Name a few sleep related songs.

If one famous musician could sing you to sleep, who would it be? And what song would he/she be singing?

What songs could produce nightmares if you listen to them before bed?

1. Side 2 of "Into the Gap" by Thompson Twins never fails to put me to sleep. I would always, always fade out around "Storm on the Sea". That's not to say that the songs are bad, or boring, because they're not--it's just that something about side 2 makes my brain turn off. I could never listen to it while driving. Maybe it's the high-pitched instrumentation. Or maybe it's Joe Leeway. I dunno.

2. "Asleep" by The Smiths, hehe. (I say "hehe" because, if you've never heard the song, it's actually about something a little more final than sleep. Typical joyful Morrissey stuff.) "Enter Sandman" by Metallica. "Moonshine Lullaby" by Irving Berlin, from "Annie Get Your Gun".

3. I'm cheating on this one and naming a bunch and some of them aren't famous and I don't care. Natalie Merchant could sing pretty much anything and I'd be happy. Amy Grant, something simple. Rod Stewart, something from "The Great American Songbook" (volume one, of course). Deborah Gibson, anything. Judy Garland, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Honestly, there are so many "wow, what a voice!" choices to make. On the lesser-known and unknown side, while I hesitate to name people who I know (it's so creepy--"you can sing me to sleep!"), I have to say that Tracy Comer has a great voice. Maybe I wouldn't have her sing me to sleep. She could open for Natalie Merchant, maybe. I would love to hear Kathy Henson sing again. Ditto for Noelle Welch. (I sang in the Grinnell Singers with them. They were always fantastic. Especially Kathy, who is the only person whose performance ever moved me to actual tears. In a good way, that is.)

4. "Hey Joe," as covered by Seal. Seal is a pretty dispassionate singer; even when he really opens up, he's kind of reserved. It's really eerie to hear him sing a murder ballad in that detached way of his. "Dead Skin Mask" by Slayer, especially if you're dropping off right at the end there: "Mr. Gein, let me out. This isn't fun anymore!"

Attention, Peace Activists!

The Peace Symbol is different from the Mercedes logo. I have seen so many people unintentionally advertising for Mercedes recently--I wish I had pictures--that I just felt the need to point that out.

(Actually, I'm just assuming that it's unintentional. Maybe there are people who think that somehow Mercedes is going to bring about world peace.)

"Miami Vice"

What the hell happened to Michael Mann? We went to see the Miami Vice movie today, and we--my wife, mother-in-law, and I--hated it. Completely and utterly hated it. We opined, in fact, that it must have been his first screenplay.

Nuh-uh.

Let's get this said straight away: "Miami Vice" is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's nearly two and a half hours long, and you spend seventy-five percent of it waiting for something to happen. When that something finally does happen--someone gets shot--you think "Thank GOD!" because surely more stuff will happen...but no. What follows is more waiting, followed by the dullest gun battle in the history of modern cinema, followed by a whole bunch of nothing.

This is from the same man who directed (and wrote!) "Heat." It's from the same guy who turned Daniel Day-Lewis running up a mountain into one of my favorite film sequences ever--the end of "Last of the Mohicans." (And seriously, if you haven't seen that ending sequence, with Hawkeye chasing Magua, borrow the movie from the library or something, because it's awesome.)

There is a laundry list of problems with this movie, and it's long enough that I'm not really going to go into them. It's an incomprehensible, sad, boring mess of a movie. And it's dark. Very dark. I don't mean "atmospheric and moody", either. I mean you can't see a damn thing.

(Among many, many other sins, Mann never actually gives us a reason to give a damn about any of the people or events. Note to writers: just because your character bangs someone does not automatically mean that we give a damn.)

Whip this out down at the Starbuck's

From Red Ferret again: a sweet, sweet hack--the kind that brings a tear to the eye. It's a rotary-dial cell phone. Check out the extensive photo series on how they developed the idea.

"I have seen hell," part 43

In response to the recent foiled plot, passengers traveling from or through Great Britain are not being allowed any carry-on items. Why is this hell? Read carefully.

No books.

A note for the U.S. travel industry: when this restriction comes over to this side of the pond, there is no way that I will be getting on an airplane except for the absolutely most dire emergencies. Flying is already bad enough. I can't imagine not being allowed to read.

This is what you get, America-haters

When you Democrats who refuse to acknowledge the threat posed by Islamic terrorists, and who refuse to join with Our Glorious Leader, vote for Ned Lamont...you get immediate terrorist threats and plots to blow up airliners. Obviously, this is a message sent by the terrorists to the people of Connecticut: vote for His Anointed---Or Else!

Update: Oh my God...I was being sarcastic. I swear. But it turns out that this is something that LIEBERMAN ACTUALLY SAID. (That's a New York Times link, free registration and so on. If you're agin' it, you could look at a related blurb from The Nation.)

Goodbye, Kitty

(As seen on The Red Ferret Journal today.)

All of us with daughters have a choice to make: shield them from the knowledge of the Hello Kitty Optical Mouse, or buy them one. It's got a wheel and everything, but at fifty bucks, I know which choice I'll be making.

Wanna make a spaceship?

I do. Well, a model one at least. I figured I'd grab some plastic and wood and start shaping and fitting and gluing.

Then I started looking at pictures of TV and movie space ships--stuff from Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Babylon 5, Star Trek and so on--and I asked myself a really basic question: what is all that shit for? No, seriously...what?

Now, by "shit," I mean "stuff on the outside of the main structure." For example, take a look at pretty much any ship in Star Wars. The Star Destroyer is a good example. Look at all that stuff that's sitting on the outside of the vessel. Why is it there? Why is there conduit on the outside of the ship? Yeah, it looks neat, and provides visual interest, but why would someone design a ship where all of that breakable stuff is outside? What happens if it breaks? (Star Trek is actually pretty good in this respect, probably because the budget for the show didn't include a line item for highly-detailed models.)

So I got hung up on that for a while. In fact, I still don't know why you'd make a ship with bits on the outside that don't have to be. But I decided to just live with it.

See, there's two basic design philosophies: on the one hand, you have writers and filmmakers and so on who try to stick to realistic design--in other words, given the limitations of physics, what would a spacecraft look like if we were to make one today?--and on the other hand, you have people who create fantastic, dynamic designs that become icons of popular culture, the people who just throw up their hands and say "It suits my story to have a craft that would otherwise be a gigantic plummeting brick land gracefully" or "It suits my story to have a craft move faster than the speed of light would allow while at the same time suffering no relativistic effects."

The Realist school is neat, and in fact there's at least one whole website filled with information on what you might need to consider when designing a Rocket Ship. Other stuff is out there on the science and physics of space travel.

But Magic has a seductive pull. Who wouldn't want to come up with a swooping brick-in-an-atmosphere-but-screw-you-it's-landing-anyway fighter design, or a "there isn't enough energy in an entire planet to move this damn thing" super heavy cruiser?

I'm going to try to walk the line. We'll see how it turns out.

Neat gadget

Red Ferret linked to this the other day: an all-in-one Egg McMuffin maker. Cook eggs, toast bread, and warm some sausage or Canadian Bacon with one unit, and everything gets done at the same time. It also works as a plain old toaster, so it's actually a multitasker. Replace your toaster with one of these things.

The only thing I'm skeptical about? Supposedly, it gets "clean" if you wipe two pieces off with a wet paper towel. Uh, no.

I've seen standalone two-slice toasters that cost a lot more than fifty bucks. If I had fifty bucks of someone else's money...I'd consider trying this.

(Ultimately, it would end up being one of those things like a grill or a popcorn maker: use it a lot for a few weeks but then it just sits.)

SHOCKING and DISGUSTING!

How DARE these people put a BREASTFEEDING BABY on the COVER of their MAGAZINE about BABIES! Don't they know that that's UNNATURAL?

Oh, wait.

You know, that article is one of the stupider things I've seen recently (and thanks to Terry for sending it). You would think that people who are subscribing to a magazine about...BABIES...would have seen a tit or two. I'd like to know what kind of husband that one woman has, where she felt she had to tear the cover off so he wouldn't see it. Those frickin' magazines are filled with both babies AND boobs.

To be honest, though, I can sort of--only sort of!--understand. I always feel uncomfortable when I see someone breastfeeding their baby in public; it just seems kind of immodest to me for a woman to whip out a breast and belly her kid up to the bar. But you've gotta do what you've gotta do, and if it's time for the kid to eat, it's time for the kid to eat.

Still, there's something different about it being a picture on the cover of a magazine. I mean, the process is what it is, and if you're shocked, offended and disgusted by seeing it...maybe you should subscribe to a different magazine.

I want this cake

Chef Joanna had a link to a fabulous-looking cake which I would love to have. It just looks so yummy.

If I were making it, I'd skip the fake frosting and add a little something between the layers; the material the author suggests using for candles would probably work. Yeah, that last sentence is intentionally cryptic. I want you to look at the cake!

I'd like to start a church

I would call it The Church Of Kicking This Guy's Ass and we'd have services every day.

No need to cut the guy's balls off

(Sorry for the minor spoiler...but it is a guy who gets kicked off.) Regarding tonight's disqualification on the excellent Project Runway: I was shocked that Tim kicked the person off in front of his roommates. I was expecting him to pull the guy aside and explain the situation, not emasculate him in front of a couple of other people. Surprising.

Quickly Noted

Small items of interest that caught my eye.

• Our dinner conversation tonight briefly noted that alcohol does not magically turn you into an anti-Semite, despite protestations and defenses to the contrary. A columnist in today's Wisconsin State Journal gave Mel a pass, basically saying that anybody that thinks that Mel Gibson hates Jews doesn't understand the nature of alcoholism. I've known a few alcoholics. None of them ever said anything like that. Perhaps they just weren't drinking the right things. Or rather, the wrong things.


• Jo. Kill him. While Stephen King's invocation of Reichenbach Falls is apt, you could very well cement your place in literary history by doing What Needs To Be Done. Besides, the last two books were kind of lame.


• I have just one word for the producers who apparently thought that Heath Ledger would make a good Joker: ohmyfuckinggodareyoustupid? I grant them this: that's the same thing a lot of people said about Michael Keaton in Tim Burton's Batman, and he was actually really good. Still...that's just lame.


• Play Poom. My best was 9 bounces, but I blame the fact that using a trackpad is not as good as using a real mouse. I'll try again at lun-chow-wah tomorrow.


• The story from CNN about a waitress who had a customer, trying to buy alcohol, present her with her own stolen ID reminded me of the time I was in the store and saw someone present a Hawaii State ID. The kid sure looked underage to me, and he looked as if he had never been in the sun. I really wanted to bust him, maybe just ask the classic Hawaii question, "What school you went?"

That's it. Have a nice day.